Being Present

Sometimes the only way I can express my experience is through poetry:

Presence

How do I stay present?
All I want is to escape…
To evade
To avoid
My inner rage

How do I stay present?
All I want is to hide…
To cover
To conceal
The fear inside

How do I stay present?
All I want is to deny…
To refute
To curb
My hidden love

How do I stay present…
To anger?
To fear?
To love?

I must learn to remain…
To abide
To be still
In impossible peace

I must accept I am welcome…
Wanted
Beloved
By the all loving King of glory

I must remember I am given…
Provided for
Supplied with
Everything I need to live

Teach me to be present…
All I want is to be
In this moment
In the now
Present to all that is

©️2018 lem

Today was challenging. It began with parenting problems…after a sleepless night due to parenting problems. Consequently, I dozed off when I attempted a mindfulness exercise.

Have you ever fallen asleep while trying to meditate?

I was using an app that was recommended to me, Headspace. I’ll make another attempt tomorrow.

Now, I’m going to let my feelings as a frustrated mom flow through me and release them…if I can.

4 comments

  1. I’ve never meditated successfully. Not from nodding off, but from not being able to be here, now. My brain never shuts off, its alwasy in the past or the future, and always stressed and fluttery.

    Like

    1. I’m learning that part of the meditation process is to acknowledge the thoughts, without judgment, and let them flow on through, instead of fighting them and criticizing yourself for having them. Letting go of self judgement is hard for me to do.

      Like

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