Too Little, Too Much

Blurry eyes

Burning hands

Foggy brain

Tired body

Torn emotions

Weary soul

No time to rest

I’ve given my best

Nothing left for me

Nothing left of me

A mothering grandmother who expresses frustration and anger more easily than love and tenderness. 

Learning to be domesticated

Putting on my own straitjacket, all for the sake of love.

I want them to know I love them. I can’t change how much I couldn’t love in our past.

I can’t make up for that loss and lack.

But, now, it’s so important for me to show them I have their backs.

Yet, it feels like all I do and am lacks…so much

I long to feel, just a touch

Of compassion and love

Is asking for gentleness too much?

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5 comments

  1. Dear Lillian, I hold you up with compassion and love. So much of what I have read or heard keeps pointing to one unconditional, foundation idea; that each of us was created with a specific and personalized ‘purpose’ in God’s mind. Can I honestly claim that He made mistakes when He put me together, or you, or anyone?

    Like

  2. I’m in the same boat at times. Explaining to my oldest why I treat the youngest a little more differently than I did her. I explain I was a young, inexperienced mom trying her best. Now I know better, and still try to implement what I’m learning in my relationship with both of them.

    Like

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