Yesterday I mentioned that I am moving forward in my plans to become an income earning writer.
I’m scared. I’m confused. I’m experiencing self-doubt and wondering if I really have what it takes. None of these things have any basis in facts. The truth is, I know how to write and I write well. There is certainly room for improvement and growth as a writer. Of course there is, however the truth is that writing is as essential and fundamental to my being as breathing. Any blocks I have had in being able to put words in relatively interesting and understandable order don’t stem from incompetence and ignorance in the mechanics of writing or understanding how to organize and structure thoughts and ideas. No, they stem from my tendency to underestimate myself by demanding perfection of myself in an imperfect world. They stem from decades of habitually reacting to the obstacles in life’s maze and getting myself all turned around and distracted by overwhelming details and messiness of being human, buying into a false belief that somehow I had to clear the clutter and get it all straightened out before I can begin and follow through.
The reality is life is messy, obstacles happen, expectations aren’t met, but it doesn’t have to change my goals or dreams. It doesn’t have to stop me from starting my journey. Especially considering I’ve already been on the journey without even realizing it. I’ve been lost, unable to see the forest for the trees and too busy focusing on all the decaying of the accumulated layers of organic debris under my feet, to realize that the forest is life and it is beautiful. It has everything I need and has been sustaining me all along.
This isn’t about beginning again, starting over, or changing direction. This about finally understanding that I’ve already started and the goal isn’t to finish, it is to appreciate it, experience, and live it.
So, I’m a writer and I need an income. What is my foundation? What is already here that I can use to get started?
I was approached by an admin from Glipho who invited me to join their site. He described them in this way, “We are a fairly new social blogging network aiming to promote writers and build up their audiences by exposing their writing to our members and spreading it through various channels.”
So, I’m in the process of editing and “cleaning up” a few of my posts from here and exporting them over to that site. I may decide to use that site to only post the things that are less journal like and personal updates and utilize it more as I figure out my more “professional” voice, using that site to focus on the “blogtivism” posts associated with Bloggers for Peace and Blog for Mental Health 2013. We’ll see how it goes.
I’m not really a fan of repeating and recycling old content in a new forum and it seems rather redundant to duplicate the same post on multiple sites. It feels redundant and lazy somehow. At the same time, I need to figure out what is reasonable to do. I have some free-lance writing resources I need to start working on as well as getting back into my blogging flow. I have to figure out how to incorporate and integrate those things while I also do the mundane and real world things like cook, clean, parent, be in relationship with others, shop, exercise and take care of personal hygiene.
There I go again, getting all worried over how to make all the pieces fit together.
Rome wasn’t built in a day and overnight success happens after many years of stops, starts, failures, and getting up to do it all over again . . . or so I’ve heard. So, I’ve done what I can for the moment and it’s time to move onto the next task, getting Luna out of the bathtub.
In the meantime, any suggestions for how a cluttered and disorganized person with dozens of ideas and plans can get a little more focused would be welcome.