Reconciling tragedy


My heart is heavy over the tragedies of the lives taken and families grieving from the mall shooting where I live, the school shooting in Connecticut, and the Chinese school stabbing. News of a bomb threat in an Eastern Oregon town showed up my newsfeed with the statement:

This world has lost it’s mind and gone crazy!

The ensuing lobbying for/against gun control and political finger-pointing sickens me. Most of those forwarding these messages are wonderful, well meaning people. After all, I only have wonderful, well-meaning people as my Facebook friends, truly.

The fact is that no matter what kind of regulations and laws are put into effect, people’s thoughts and emotions will not be changed or controlled through legislation.

The more insular and intolerant we become in order to make ourselves feel safe and secure, the more we create and promote the environment, attitudes, and alienation that enables the proliferation of the very things we strive to protect ourselves from.

I don’t pretend to have the answers. I don’t think anyone does really.

What I do know is that the families suffering such tragedy and loss are not benefitted, comforted, or validated by strangers in the world engaging in petty conflict with each other, playing the blame game, and tearing each other down for having opposing values, opinions and beliefs.

Grieving people don’t want or need to be put in the position of taking care of anyone else’s issues or concerns. These families don’t need to feel like they should care about anyone else’s feelings. They need to be given the space and the time to grieve.

Instead of getting on a soapbox and adding voice to the cacophony of rhetoric and opinion, find a way to honor the children and families in your own community. Volunteer in a soup kitchen, join SMART and read to a little kid, become a Big Brother or Big Sister, become a mentor, do something that touches someone’s life constructively and positively.

Offer encouragement, kindness, and acceptance to those who seem least deserving, chances are it may not be received well or appreciated, but they are likely the ones most in need of it. Offer it to the ones closest to you who may see it least from you because they love you and you can be yourself around them. It could make all the difference.

Look for what is good and right and focus your energy into building that up.

People are going to believe, think, and feel whatever and however they will. Adding or raising my voice isn’t going to change that.

I am going to grieve for those who grieve and I am going to count my blessings. I’m going to look for ways to take my own advice.



  1. “Instead of getting on a soapbox and adding voice to the cacophony of rhetoric and opinion, find a way to honor the children and families in your own community.”

    YES! Positivity breeds positivity.


  2. In a world gone mad, you’d hope people could put aside their personal agendas and work towards preventing these shootings/stabbings/endangering of our children’s lives. Prayers to these families. Ugh.


    1. Daddyranman,
      It would be nice if people would just stop talking and start listening, start reaching out to help and support, instead of immediately tear each other down.

      It is a mad, mad world, and seemingly getting madder all the time.

      Be well,


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