It’s a new month, a new week, and a new day. It’s also time for a new challenge ~ Ultimate Blog Challenge that is.
I’ve been thinking about this for the past four or five days and considering whether I wanted to try to do this challenge in the midst of my current life’s circumstances. I’ve also been thinking about why I would want to participate in this challenge again. When I signed up for the challenge the first time, I didn’t really understand that a lot of the focus of the challenge creators and participants would be about increasing visibility from a sales and marketing perspective. The idea of driving traffic to my blog in order to get people to purchase something from me just doesn’t sit well with me. I understand that people who have businesses and products to sell need a platform to get themselves and their products noticed. I completely get the need for small, home-based, entrepreneurial businesses to see rapid growth in order to have income to support themselves and their families. I’m not against any of that. It just isn’t where I am at in my life or the purpose of my blog.
On top of it, there has been lot of self-doubt that what I do here has any value to offer anyone other than myself. I don’t have any answers or solutions to problems that people are generally seeking. I’m working to discover the right questions and any answers I find are pure trial and error and not able to be wrapped up in a pretty package and applied universally to anyone else.
Which leaves me with why would I want to put my blog on people’s radar and what do I have to offer that they would invest their time and energy reading it?
I think I may have figured it out during the course of last week’s events that I wrote in my two previous posts. Truth and hope.
The truth is that healing, growth, relationships, life and recovery are painful, messy, and scary things to face. This isn’t a message that many people want to hear. But it is the truth we all need to hear, accept, and stop avoiding. As a person who has lived through and is currently facing many messy and painful life circumstances, I may not have the answers, but sharing my experiences, processes, and outcomes can help others. I know this because having been on the receiving end of reading and receiving these things from other people’s lives has helped me. It’s why the 12th step is such a critical piece of the whole 12 step process of recovery.
This past week has been a week of reawakening for me, both spiritually and personally. It’s been a long time in coming. It’s been painful at times. Other times there’s just been a lot of sitting, waiting, and seemingly little or nothing happening inside of me. Life has continued on cycling through the ebb and flow of circumstantial challenges that have sometimes affected my internal growth in ways that I recognize. More often than not I couldn’t see the growth at the time and may not yet recognize that it happened at all. The important thing is that it happened.
Many Twelve Step organizations follow the calendar in doing their step studies, focusing on a particular Step in the corresponding month. Since October is the 10th month, the 10th step would be the focus.
Part of the personal inventory process includes seeing the good as well as the bad. Examining the details of our lives and ourselves in the light and seeing the truth in its entirety about ourselves. Historically, a lot of us are really good at self-blame, self-recrimination, and emotional (if not physical) self-flagellation. I know this is true for me. So, part of my focus this month is going to be looking for the whole truth and seeking out what’s good in the truth I know. I’m going to actively look for the silver lining in the dark clouds of my life. I’m going to open myself up to experiencing happiness, contentment, and joy even in the midst of the depression, pain, and fear that has become such an ingrained and inherent part of my life.
I doubt I’ll ever be Pollyanna, but I will certainly become a happier me.