Captive

How captive I am to myself

When did I embrace these chains

Fear, worry, never feeling good enough

Surrendering uncertain dreams for unrealized hopes

Forgetting who I desired to become

Surviving to see a shattered reflection

How do I release the past

Let go of the self-recrimination

Accept the good in the bad

And love ALL I have had

Integrating the segmented pieces of me

Believing who I am here, today

Deserving and worthy of loving care

How do I make the transition

From knowledge, to belief, to trust

Acting as if until it is

Always feeling false, weak and fake

Knowing the full strength it takes

To stay here, to just be

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23 comments

    1. Laura,
      Thank you so much for visiting and commenting. I’m so glad that this can speak to others where they are. It’s good to know that we aren’t alone in this journey.

      I’m honored that Diana referred back to me and this offering.

      Blessings,
      Kina

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  1. I find here something I weave in and out of through life. I know the striving and the reaching – and especially sharing this with others – helps me continue to learn self acceptance. Thanks so much for sharing your heart in such an open way!

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    1. Adrienne,
      Thank you for visiting and commenting. I also want to thank you for taking up the reins and hosting the Six Word Fridays. Getting the prompts from you is one key to my return from my absence. It reminded me how important it is for me to write as part of my healing and growth process.

      Be well,
      Kina

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      1. You’re welcome Kina, but after reading more of your blog, I should have left a longer note of encouragement. I’d followed you over here from Six Word Friday and that was the first blog post I read.

        Practice does help with the game of life and if you reread some of your posts, you have learned and improved a lot of things already. So often we forget how much we have accomplished, instead spending our time reminding ourselves of what remains undone and wrong in our lives.

        I commented on that in this post:
        http://livingtheseasons.com/2012/08/14/keeping-what-resolution-makes-me-happiest/

        I have so much undone in this project to declutter the house, but I have actually gotten a lot done already. I just have to keep reminding myself of that which is why I wrote it up.

        Last year I really worked on having gratitude; this year I’m working on serenity. It’s not been a smooth process, but I have made improvements. I wish it wasn’t so hard some days though.

        Nancy

        P.S. You should look at Caddo Veil’s blog. She is overflowing with joy from God, something that was very hard won for her. I think you’d find her encouraging. http://caddoveil.com/

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        1. Nancy,
          Thank you for going deeper and reading more and for pointing out the progress. So often I feel as if I’m crossing back over ground that has already been tread. I also want to thank you for the other links.

          Be well,
          Kina

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          1. Sometimes we have to go back over and relearn things before they stick or we refine it enough to be comfortable with it. Changing habits and thought patterns is hard and at least for me, I seldom get it right the first time anyhow. Just because it’s right for someone else doesn’t make it right for me.

            Have you ever read the Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin? You should. She really helps show the way to accepting yourself, making change, and improving your life. She uses her life as the example, not a mystical someone else. You can also see her blog on the Internet.

            Nancy

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          2. Nancy,
            I do understand the concept of learning through repetition. I just get frustrated with myself because I think I’ve “gotten it” only to discover that I’m still not “getting it.” Oh well, I need to accept that is part of life and that I am doing well and am not different from many others who also are repeating life lessons multiple times in multiple ways.

            Again, thank you for commenting and recommending some resources.

            Be well,
            Kina

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