How to cope with frustration

AAAAAARRRRGGGH!!!

I just spent over an hour working on a post using a computer at the local coffee shop.  By the time I came to the end and was ready to “publish” the server was nowhere to be found.  I copied and pasted into a .txt file, but apparently neglected to “save” or for some reason the computer just doesn’t allow things to be saved to it.  Sadly, I think it was my user error.

I’m so frustrated and upset I want to cry, kick, scream, and generally just throw a tantrum.

I am an adult and that is not an option for me, especially as I am in a public place.  So, I am writing this inane post, documenting my frustration and hoping that the action of typing, combined with me seeing my thoughts and feelings appear on the screen, is enough of an outlet for me, so that I can let it go and not have it ruin the remainder of my day.

Part of my frustration is that I was writing about my job that ended today and processing things around that.   That post actually helped me to clarify and define some things as I move forward.  I had some realizations and it felt important that I have those things detailed in the post.  Because of my fibro/depression symptoms, it is difficult for me to retain and track those kinds of things, so having a written record to refer back to is kind of important.  I guess, I can try some bullet points and maybe come back to this post at a later date for reminders or to flesh out the ideas and concepts.

Here I go:

  1. Today was my last day working at a job and for a company that wasn’t the worst I have ever worked at and for, but not the best either.  Happy, content, relived, and accepting are the feelings about it.
  2. Resolution to not take a job just to have a job or income or because it’s available in the moment and I am capable of doing it.  Any future job needs to have additional components that feed something within me and ignite my passion to have tangible and constructive impact on or for people.
  3. Survival has meant taking work to have an income to support myself and the family, and that is important.
  4. I am grateful for the things that I have and to have had this job experience.
  5. There are many more things about my life and where I’m at as I approach my 43rd birthday on the 7th, that I am dissatisfied and unhappy with that make me realizing that living to survive has caused me to compromise myself, my values, my goals, and my dreams.
  6. My mental and physical health issues, along with personal and family life circumstances cannot be balanced with a job that has no significance, meaning, or passion for me.
  7. It is time to move beyond survival and learn what it means to thrive: not just for myself, but so I can teach my youngest child as well.
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9 comments

  1. It seems to me that you did a superb job of retaining what you had lost in the first post. That shows you–and all of us who have read this post–just how important it is to continue after the ether has gobbled up our carefully constructed prose. I’ve come to this post late, but because it was here, whether or not it was your first, best, one, it has made an impact on me which I won’t forget the next time my fingers do a two-step off the keyboard or my mind pings when it should have ponged. Thank you for bravely putting out your “second best”!

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    1. Paralaxvu,
      It never occurred to me I was setting an example of perseverance. I was simply trying to let go of some angst and give myself a reminder for future reference. I’m glad you got something from it. Thanks for commenting, it reminded me that there were others who’s comments I’ve yet to reply to.
      Kina

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  2. I’m glad you got a chance to process and resolve your feelings about your work. I hope the economy lets you find a job you find fulfilling.

    As for the rest, breathe deeply and try to control only the things you have control over. I’ve found meditation does work for me, I just have to take the time to do it. And computers are evil. That’s the only explanation I can come up with. I think they conspire with each other to find ways to screw up our lives. (Which is why the machines shouldn’t be talking to each other. . . has no one in technology ever seen a sci fi movie?)

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    1. Purplemary,
      I’m so sorry I’m just now replying. I was without computer access for a couple of weeks and had only my iPhone to use, so posting and commenting was at a minimum. I’d made a mental note to reply, but forgot to set the reminder alarm.

      Thankfully, I am in a position where I am not currently being required to seek other employment. I’m in transition and preparing for when my three year old no longer has access to the local pre-school Head Start program in August.

      Computers may be evil, however they are necessary ones.

      Kina

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      1. Computers also provide us with lots of fun. Like other people’s blogs.

        Wait a minute, your mental notes have alarms? How do I get one of those put on my mental notes? I never remember those. I always have to write them down on physical paper. And then I promptly lose them.

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  3. From the Rev. Misa Hopkins, just found this in my box this am, may it lift and encourage you in some way…

    Releasing the Fear of the Unknown–Opening to the Mystical Realms

    My elder taught me that you are guided through the mystical realms by the spirit-child within you. The spirit-child is very close to God and does not fear the unknown.

    However, if we as physical children have been emotionally wounded, we tend not to trust the spirit-child within.

    How do we heal those wounds? We create new experiences where we can open to greater love and compassion. We create new and safe experiences of family. Then, when we feel safe enough, our spirit-children will guide us into the wonders of the mystical realms.

    http://www.newdreamfoundation.com/spirit-quest.htm

    In my heart and songs,
    Reverend Misa

    New Dream Foundation is a 501c3 Non-Profit Organization
    http://www.NewDreamFoundation.com

    New Dream Foundation,18124 Wedge Pkwy #191
    Reno,NV 89511 USA

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  4. Oh!!! I feel your pain…it’s hard when you take so much time to try and capture your feelings in words and then something goes wrong. I think writing another post was a good thing to do, it usually helps me 😉

    Like

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