About a week ago I got a headache that began a series of headaches that didn’t end until yesterday. On Monday my youngest woke up with a cough and has been home with a fever all week. On Tuesday, I could barely get out of bed because of nausea and pain of my own, while her cough worsened and the fever stayed steady. Yesterday, her fever seemed to be going down and I was feeling better, but in the wee hours of the morning her fever spiked and the advice nurse had me take her to the hospital. Of course, the Children’s Tylenol had kicked in and she was o.k. – no rash, chest congestion, bad looking throat, or ears, so we came home about an hour later…walking to/from in the dark with cold rain pouring down was much fun, but since the advice nurse said to go, we went.
I missed a week of work at the end of February due to a death in the family. The next week, little bit was sick with the same thing she’s sick with now. At the end of that week, her daddy left to go to another state to get a new job, which he did get, but is still waiting in limbo to start. So, I needed to rearrange my work schedule to take time off for Spring Break, since her early Head Start program is closed that week. I’ve just used up all of my available time off from work and there’s A LOT of work that needs to get done there. Now, we might be called on to foster four of his nieces and nephews who were taken and placed in foster care earlier this week. I’m waiting to hear from the caseworker to figure out what could be the next step in that process.
We’ve been discussing the possibility of me letting my job go and being a stay at home mom for a while, but I was hoping to do it in a controlled and planned fashion. But, if we take on the other kids, I don’t foresee me returning to work right away. Maybe I can ask for a leave of absence? Who knows.
All I know is that every single bit of what has been happening these past few weeks is entirely out of my control, and I’m trying to be ok with that and trust that God is working things out and we’re exactly where we need to be doing what we should be doing. Letting go of anxiety, fear, and expectations of how things should be going and what I think I need to be doing is a process.