A not so Merry Christmas: Apathy & Depression

I know I’m not alone in this.  There are many others, like myself, who have a difficult time finding reason to celebrate this season.  Regardless of belief system or the state of one’s faith, there are those of us who, for whatever reasons, find it difficult to see the good in the world or in our lives or, if we can see the good, have a seeming inability to appreciate that goodness and let it’s light shine brighter than the darkness inside of our minds and souls.  It is much, much easier to recognize and focus on what is wrong, dark, and broken in our lives and inside of us.

The thing is, I absolutely KNOW that this version of reality and truth is neither real or true.

There is beauty, there is hope, there is an opportunity to change.  We have to choose it.  I have to choose it.

Yesterday, I had an opportunity to see someone who has recently been over the edge of darkness who has come back from that edge and listen to him speak, briefly, of his experience.  In tearful, grateful, humility he spoke of the dark nastiness that had taken hold of him and stated that he had to choose Light.  He had to choose life.  His admonishment and encouragement to those of us who have given into the darkness and let it swoop over us was to do the same, “Choose Light, Choose Life.”

For a brief moment, I found myself thinking, “yeah, but …” and started counting off the things in this man’s life that are good and that make his life worth living, while believing that those same things don’t exist in my life.

The reality is this, as long as I have breath to breathe and life to live, there is opportunity to choose to see and focus on the light and if I need help to do it, I can call out to my Higher Power and to people that have been placed in my life, but I have to choose.

I choose

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