Step 2: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity
|18:2||The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower.|
|18:3||I will call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised: so shall I be saved from mine enemies.|
|18:4||The sorrows of death compassed me, and the floods of ungodly men made me afraid.|
|18:5||The sorrows of hell compassed me about: the snares of death prevented me.|
|18:6||In my distress I called upon the LORD, and cried unto my God: he heard my voice out of his temple, and my cry came before him, even into his ears.|
I’ve known for a very long time that I’m not that powerful. At least that’s what I’ve thought I believed about myself. However, the insanity of my thoughts, emotions, and actions tell a different story. Every time I attempt to manipulate someone to do what I want or think they should do, each instance where I engage in self-recrimination because of the choices and actions of someone else, whenever I spiral down the emotional path of guilt, shame, and depression over my past, I have somehow deluded myself into believing I have so much power that I can control and change those things. I’m living under the false belief that I am omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent.
It has been a sorrow filled way of living. It has contributed to me not developing and growing in the gifts and potential placed inside of me by my creator. It has contributed to the deterioration of my physical, mental, and emotional health. It has distorted perceptions and relationships with the people in my life and negatively impacted those relationships. It blinded me to the blessings and opportunities for growth and healing available to me in the here and now.
Thankfully, I can say with certainty that, “In my distress I called upon the LORD, and cried unto my God: he heard my voice out of his temple, and my cry came before him, even into his ears.” I did this earlier this week for several days and each day something different happened. Then, yesterday, I had fun, I laughed, I interacted, and I enjoyed the people I love, for the first time in a very long time.
Today, “I will call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised: so I shall be saved from my enemies,” the distorted thoughts, expectations, and emotions that are waiting to sweep back in and convince me that I’m the power in my life and the lives of those around me. I have come to believe in a power greater than myself, and there is such freedom and joy in that belief and knowledge.